There are times when the current book doesn’t get a new chapter or happy ending, sometimes you have to start a new story. Please stick with me as the Mamarazza on a Mission, gets a plot twist.
2016 started with life changing character rewrite. And the theme is PURPOSE. As 2015, came to a close there were some very different things being foreshadowed, though it wasnt until a week ago I finally caught on. I could tell you I am happier and healthier in this fresh start, but I promised not to lie. Truth is I am on a detox, and not all of the things I am losing are creating a glow.
Most of you have seen on my social channels that I joined in on and awesome #resolutionchallenge with For the Glow, a local Seattle fitness community, to relearn how a nourishing diet can release impurities and sculpt my body. I am happy to tell you phase 2 is open for REV enrollment, how many ladies wanna boost that metabolism?!? I GOT MY HAND RAISED, three babies and 30’s sure know how to E break a body in motion. I drifted like crazy. Here is where the honesty alarm goes off, I haven’t been able to stay on track. I will tell you why don’t worry, but first let me take a… oh sorry…tell a story.
I was 18 years old, fresh out of high school, in a new state, in a new room, and in walks this guy with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. He was gonna be all mine, girl! I knew it. It was like all the fireworks on the fourth of July around the world were going off in my heart. Even better, he could wear a set of BDU’s like they were made for his body. Oh gosh, be still heart. It was a whirlwind romance, we were inseparable and every moment we could we were locked at the hand and lips 😉 5 months in and we were walking down the aisle, and 3 months later he was deploying to Bosnia. 6 months later we were parents and a little over a year later he was off to war. Maybe whirlwind is an understatement in military love?
Did you know that the military can redeploy after being home only 15 months? Even after a 14 month deployment? Yeah, neither did I. But we found out quick and back to back he deployed for 10 years. Every time he came home, a little piece of my dream guy, soul mate got left overseas. Uncle Sam got his fill and put him out on a medical board retirement in 2012. I, then was deemed his caregiver and became his soul (spelling intented) morale/moral support outside of alcohol. Little did we know that battle buddies, was a term we would take quite literally.
Love is hard, loving a service member is harder, loving a wounded warrior is a whole new level. Every second of love is worth it. Love is best quoted a battlefield. And sometimes there are casualties. Sometimes things in a person die, and war doesn’t give a purple heart, bronze star, or combat ribbon for bravery under fire once they are stateside. Sometimes the mission changes. Today, I sadly signed away the future I so dreamed of walking alongside my hero. There is a hole in my heart, I quite literally feel it. I took heavy shrapnel, and the blast shook the foundation of not only my home, but of my being. No more fireworks this time. Friendly fire is actually pretty common when two people shoot off their mouths standing facing eachother. Love is quite honestly never going to be enough, so you had better put extra time into the morale part. Both parties get wounded, sometimes you bleed out over time because the wounded weren’t dressed properly (addressed in our case) or sooner, which can cause toxicity to take over in create bad blood. Please do not hum or sing the Taylor Swift song, though I know you want to. Catchy as it is, marriages ending are nothing like a break up with a killer hook. Especially, not with 16 years of mad love in the mix.
I am not sure if it counts or not for my detox, but my face definitely has a glow to it, but I don’t think tears are what she meant.
This year was supposed to be about finding the JOY in the journey, and living a purposeful life. It still will be, but maybe in a different way. My mission is definitely going to change, but the name will remain the same, for now. Mamarazza is really just a regular old Carleeh, in a cute package. And this regular old Carleeh, is gotta find who SHE IS. I have lived my whole entire adulthood as a wife, and mother. Maybe the wife part has ended, but the mommy never ever will. I will always be a mamarazza. And I will always be on a journey to get closers to who God wants me to be while sharing sweat and motivation. I hope you will continue along with me as I process, grow, and learn about myself. I promise not to let this space become a downer, but instead a run with endurance kind of place! Here is a few things to expect in 2016-
- Run reviews
- Family friendly adventures, recipes, and workouts
- Fit tips, workouts, and #foodisfuel recipes
- Seattle events and PNW finds
- Awesome brand reviews
- A sprinkle of fashion, girly events, and me time tips
- Motivation and Unfiltered honesty, of course.
New year, new me. Now let’s go find out what that means! xoxo
Sweat ’til You Shine,